Finally I tried spraying the inside of the seat tube with Lime-Away to try to dissolve the rust holding everything together. After a few hours I hit it with a hammer to see if it would move:
It did. Very slightly, but enough to break the rust bond. When I started turning it with my pipe wrench it made the most satisfying cracking sound that I've ever heard.
Progress:
Victory!
Grease your seatposts. That is all.
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